R.J. Grey Junior High School

Hi Everyone, 

Some of the best parenting advice I ever got was to use car rides as opportunities to have conversations with my kids.  There is no necessity for eye contact, and the kids are a bit more of a captive audience during that time period. When I’ve kept the dialogue pretty casual, I’ve found that they are more willing to have a back and forth conversation, and they have even initiated a few conversations themselves.  During a car ride a few weeks ago, my daughter says to me, “Dad, did you know there’s this girl at my school who is Tik Tok famous?” To which I so eloquently replied, “uh… she’s what?”. If I’m not the only parent who is late to the Tik Tok party, here is an overview from CommonSense Media of what I now understand to be a social media app that is wildly popular amongst adolescents (and recently much younger elementary-aged kids).  The super quick explanation of Tik Tok is that it’s a free social media app that lets users watch, create, and share short videos that typically involve soundtracks and lip-synching to popular songs.  Since my initial conversation with Addie, there have been more articles about the popularity of the platform and its role in youth culture, and the ways its current use has expanded and evolved from its original intent.  The New York Times has published a series of pieces on Tik Tok, including this piece from last March that offers a pretty elaborate overview of the app and its use and popularity.  More recently, the Times has published two pieces that offer fairly favorable reviews of what Tik Tok contributes in terms of celebrating creativity.  First, this piece that asked five New York Times art critics to watch pieces from Tik Tok over a 48-hour period.  And then most recently, this story about how some schools and educators are embracing the Tik Tok world, and promoting Tik Tok school clubs as a way to channel and cultivate the creative energies of their students in positive ways that build community. My purpose in sharing these last two pieces isn’t to offer an endorsement of the Tik Tok app. My own kids don’t have the app, not because of any concerns specifically about Tik Tok (as noted above, I didn’t even know what it was until recently) but instead because we’ve made the decision to limit their access to social media apps in general and so they know they not to even ask.  Like most social media apps, there’s probably a lot of great features when used thoughtfully, and likely a range of potential problems and complications that exist when used with less-than-noble intentions. My reason for mentioning this app was mostly as an FYI from one semi-clueless dad to those of you who might appreciate a heads up about something that the Shen children have confirmed as something pretty entrenched in youth culture. When I asked my older two kids to educate me on it, they did so pretty willingly and some of you may also find it to be an interesting topic of conversation for you and your kids.  

Ok, now for some reminders about the next few weeks: 

Halloween is a week from Thursday.  A friendly reminder that dressing in costume is optional and that not all students (or staff) participate, so each individual should feel comfortable making the choice that’s right for that student.  If your student does choose to arrive in costume, please be sure to review the expectations that I shared with families in last week’s Grey Matters. 

We have scheduled a picture retake day for Friday, November 1. Photos taken on the original Picture Day have not yet arrived, but we expect that they will shortly (and certainly before the retake day).  If your child ordered a photo package and you would like to retake the photo, please have your child bring in the original package on that day (and to come dressed for the re-take!).  If your student missed Picture Day earlier this year, this is also the time for him or her to have a photo taken. Even if you don’t have plans to order a photo package, it is important to have everyone’s photo taken so they will be included in this year’s yearbook.  

There is NO SCHOOL on Tuesday, November 5.  This is a Professional Day for all staff in Acton-Boxborough, so this applies to students at all grade levels.  

Several years ago, we began a small recognition program called “Everyday Leaders” as one way for us to celebrate and put a brighter spotlight on students who, in a variety of ways, demonstrates leadership through daily acts of kindness, enthusiasm, and being respectful towards peers and teachers. Twice a trimester, our teams (and each grade’s exploratory, elective, and physical education teachers) identify a student who they have observed modeling some element of good citizenship within their classes and team. Every year, the cohort of students who are identified by the teachers is incredibly diverse in terms of the qualities that are being celebrated. There are always students whose kindness and contributions present themselves in less obvious and nuanced ways.  This past Thursday, I met with our first group of Everyday Leaders for a small lunch in the main office, and enjoyed some good conversation about the start of the current school year. Congratulations to the following students who were part of this first group: Olivia Baytarian, Hazel Burke, Andy Coffey, Mahathi Hariharan, Keziah Kuriakose, Brodie Muyskens, Theresa Nintzel, Molly Norris, Molly Rabin-Marquez, Reka Schneider, and Sam Yanagimachi.  

Finally, we had our most recent installment of Poetry Fridays at the end of last week.  For those new to RJ Grey, Poetry Fridays is an activity that began seven years ago where every other Friday, a staff member or a student recites a poem during morning announcements.  This activity is led by Tim Malloy, English teacher on 8 Red. Last Friday, 8th grade student Emily Stimac read an original poem that she had written and was graciously willing to share with our school as part of Poetry Fridays.  Many thanks to Emily!  Click here if you’d like to read the poem.  

Have a great week, everyone. 

Cheers, 

Hi Everyone, 

Every few weeks or so, I tend to use Grey Matters as a memo about articles and studies that I’ve read or still working through, that I think may be of interest to some or many of you and speak to subjects we’ve discussed in the past.  What I’ve included below represents a pretty broad continuum of topics and information, but what I consider even more impressive is that I’ve found recent articles that don’t actually include the phrase “quid pro quo” within the body of their texts.

For our families who observe Diwali, the festival of lights, I hope any plans you had this past weekend was full of joy and celebration with friends and family.  For the past few years I have included this article in the Washington Post, written by someone who uses her family’s celebration of Diwali to reflect on the dynamics that often accompany a bicultural upbringing and formation of identity.  I share it again knowing that the experience of straddling different worlds and cultures is familiar to many of you. I am also including this recent piece, also in the Washington Post, that attempts to provide those of us less familiar with the origins and aspects of the holiday with a general primer on how Diwali has various meanings and interpretations within and amongst those who observe the holiday.  

The topic of school start times continues to evolve at both the local and national level.  The state of 

California recently passed a law that no high school in the state can start before 8:30am (and middle schools no earlier than 8:00am), and besides an exemption for some rural communities, has given school districts three years to make the adjustment.  Unsurprisingly, this new law has been met with mixed reactions.  Closer to home, communities throughout Massachusetts continue to wrestle with this topic, and the very real complications that usually come in the form of figuring out the transportation element.  Andover, the town where I grew up, is currently embroiled in some pretty passionate debate around start times, and possible solutions that include making elementary school start times earlier so that the middle and high school start times can be later.  

In a classic case of frequency illusion where we tend to see new information or ideas “everywhere” after it’s been the focus of our attention, I have recently felt like all I see are articles about talking to teenagers about internet pornography.  For those still recovering from my first mention of this topic, I’m not trying to overwhelm you! Frequency illusion aside, the ongoing research and statistics that I read on this subject suggests to me that this is a topic that is receiving more attention for a reason.  Here is one of those pieces I’ve recently come across, from the Child Mind Institute, that also offers guidance to families about how to enter a conversation with your kids on this topic.  

Here’s a piece from the New York Times that I haven’t finished reading, called “Can You Really Be Addicted to Video Games?”, which I will probably put at the top of my reading pile after a certain member of our household took advantage of a tired parent who fell asleep a bit early last night before checking to see if the kids had ended their sessions on technology.  

This piece in Scientific American, “Social Media Has Not Destroyed a Generation” is highlighting recent studies that are pushing back against reports and previous studies that have made claims about the damaging effects of digital devices and social media usage on younger generations.  They’re making the argument that earlier studies that suggest increased use of social media has led to a rise in mental health problems (and other issues) amongst adolescents, is a case of mistakenly arguing that it’s the chicken before the egg, and not the other way around.  That piece specifically cites a 2017 article in The Atlantic written by researcher Jean Twenge, “Has the Smartphone Destroyed a Generation”, which I included in an edition of Grey Matters that year.  I will freely admit that not only did I include Twenge’s article in 2017, but I have felt that many of her ideas have resonated with my own observations in recent years about shifts in behaviors, tendencies, and challenges within adolescents.  So this recent piece in Scientific American is giving me something to think about in terms of the conclusions that I’ve held on to.  

A piece that I haven’t finished, and has a title that makes you wonder where it’s going, here’s this recent piece from the Boston Globe, “Why kids today are so rude -- and why a little bad behavior might sometimes be a good thing”.  While I haven’t finished this piece, I did appreciate this important reminder from the author, and an introduction to a new term that might prove helpful moving forward: “Rude kids may be everywhere, but it’s also true that complaining about the younger generation is an age-old rite of passage.  David Finkelhor, a sociology professor at the University of New Hampshire, coined the term “juvenoia” -- “the exaggerated fear of the influence of social change on youth” -- to explain the phenomenon.  

Here are additional reminders and updates for the next few weeks: 

Halloween Dress Up Day is this Thursday and we’re looking forward to the parade of costumes that will likely enter the building.  Please remember that participation is completely optional and the rate of student (and teacher) participation is typically around 50%, so no student should feel compelled to come in a costume.  During any costume planning, please continue to help your child keep in mind that we must avoid including props that mimic weapons (swords, firearms, knives, etc.), clothing that includes profanity, and no masks (we need to see your faces!).  It’s a great tradition, and we all look forward to a fun and spirited day.  

We have scheduled a picture retake day for this Friday, November 1.  If your child ordered a photo package and you would like to retake the photo, please have your child bring in the original package on that day (and to come dressed for the re-take!).  If your student missed Picture Day earlier this year, this is also the time for him or her to have a photo taken. Even if you don’t have plans to order a photo package, it is important to have everyone’s photo taken so they will be included in this year’s yearbook.  

A friendly reminder that there is NO SCHOOL on Tuesday, November 5 for our District’s Professional Learning Day. There is also NO SCHOOL on Monday, November 11 for Veteran’s Day. 

We are close to finishing up the Fall season for our school sports programs.  Congratulations to our Field Hockey, Soccer, and Cross Country teams on a great season - both individually and collectively. We hope the students who participated in these programs found it to be a worthwhile experience.  As we prepare to enter the Winter season, I wanted to provide a few friendly reminders about extracurricular activities. First, our Winter sports program includes Boys and Girls Basketball teams (with separate teams for 7th and 8th grade), and Cheerleading. The tryout schedule will be posted within the next few weeks with start dates planned for shortly after the Thanksgiving Break. You can view the tryout schedule (when it’s up) and review the FamilyID process on the Athletics page of our website.  For students who participated in a Fall sport and might now have a bit more time after school, we encourage them to consider joining one of our extracurricular clubs and activities.  Students are welcome to join these programs throughout the year and can review the many options by visiting the Clubs and Activities page of our website.  

We have, unbelievably enough, already reached the point in the year where some of our RJ Grey students and families are exploring private schools as options for next year, and I’d like to re-send the following note that I share each year:  Our Counseling Office works with families on the application process, and they have created a number of documents and guides to assist families.  You can download the following information by clicking on the following links: (1) Private School Application Procedures; (2) Private School Tracking Form; (3) Consent for Release of Student Records; (4) Activity and Employment Record.  These documents will also be posted on our RJ Grey website shortly.  One aspect of the application process that I’d like to highlight is the writing of teacher/counselor recommendations.  Our teachers and counselors are happy to support students in their applications, and take seriously the crafting of a recommendation.  With that in mind, we ask that families honor the request that teachers be approached about letters of recommendation at least 4 weeks in advance of when those letters are due.  In many situations, parents initially reach out to teachers on behalf of their child, which is perfectly fine.  It’s also important for the student to speak in person with their teachers about their interest in private schools.  This is valuable for a few reasons. First, hearing a bit more about the student’s interest in the schools to which they are applying gives the teacher a better sense of what might be useful to include in the letter.  Secondly, having a teacher find recommendation forms on her desk without any prior explanation from a student or parent is never the ideal way to start the conversation about a recommendation. By no means are teachers and counselors expecting students to feel indebted to them for writing a letter, and forever genuflect whenever they enter the room. However, speaking directly to the teacher is, I think, central to showing an appropriate level of appreciation for this additional task the students are asking their teacher to complete on their behalf.  If you think your child may be a bit nervous with this task, you might encourage them to speak with the counselor, who can offer some tips and even help them practice. Your child’s counselor is also, in general, a great resource for various aspects of the application process.  

Have a great week, everyone.  

Cheers, 

Hi Everyone, 

I had a great meeting last Thursday after school with about twenty of our teachers who are participating in a discussion group focusing on “The Behavior Code”, a book by Jessica Minahan.  Jessica is a board-certified behavior analyst (BCBA) and consultant who specializes in training educators to work more effectively with students who struggle with a continuum of challenges, including anxiety disorders and a range of other social and emotional needs.  Recent studies have found that 30% of kids ages 13 to 18 have been diagnosed with anxiety disorders, and 11% suffer from depression. These statistics are not surprising to those of us in Acton Boxborough given the shifts and trends we have observed within our own student population.  Our teachers are facing new and more frequent situations where anxiety is a significant factor in the learning profiles and needs of students in their classrooms, and where more traditional behavioral and motivational strategies are not effective. With that in mind, the Junior High is dedicating almost half of its professional learning time this year to training that improves our shared understanding around the different ways anxiety can shape a student’s school experience, and develop teaching strategies that can improve engagement, comfort, and improved learning in all of our classrooms.  It’s an ambitious and important goal that we’ve set, and will require our attention and commitment beyond this year. What is exciting about our work this year is that it’s aided by Jessica Minahan herself. We’ve arranged for Jessica to work with our entire staff (teachers, classroom assistants, administrators, counselors, etc.) in both the Fall and Spring, and with a smaller group of specialized staff over the course of the year. I already see ways that conversations amongst teachers and teams are gradually shifting, and looking forward to our school’s collective skill set in this area evolving over time.  I wanted to highlight this feature of our school’s professional learning goals because I know many families, including my own, also find themselves at home devoting a fair bit of energy and planning to supporting their kids around anxiety and its impact on different facets of their daily living. For those who might be attending a team meeting this year, you may hear ideas and questions that reflect these efforts, and strategies that we’re working on. While The Behavior Code is written with an educator audience in mind, parents and guardians who are invested in the topic may find it interesting.  However, please don’t feel like you need order this text right away - while I’m excited that she’s working with us, I’m not trying to peddle her book.  Instead, there are several articles, blog entries from the Huffington Post, and audio recordings of Jessica Minahan from radio interviews that you can access from her website.  I’ve read several of them, and they offer plenty of ideas and strategies to consider, and the language and concepts that we’re learning at RJ Grey.  These articles can offer you a snapshot of the conversations we are having at RJ Grey, and ideas for you to consider at home.   

Here’s some updates and reminders for the next few weeks:

The Fall Trimester closes on Wednesday, November 20th.  There will likely be end-of-trimester assignments and assessments this week and next, so you might want to check in with your child(ren) about what is on their plates between now and the Thanksgiving Break.  

7 Red’s annual Coat Drive continues, so if you have any coats (for adults or children), they can be dropped off in our Lobby.  

For the Thanksgiving Break, we have a half-day of school on Wednesday, November 27 with dismissal at 11:10, and then we return to school the following Monday, December 2nd. 

Winter sports will begin shortly after the Thanksgiving Break. Our winter sports program includes Boys and Girls Basketball teams (with separate teams for 7th and 8th grade), and Cheerleading. The tryout schedule is NOW POSTED on the RJ Grey Athletics page with start dates planned for shortly after the Thanksgiving Break. You can view the tryout schedule and review the registration process on the Athletics page of our website. 

The Green Team Club is hosting a Terracycle recycling program for used hygiene products such as deodorant, floss and mouthwash containers, toothpaste tubes and toothbrushes.  The recycling box will be located outside the 7th grade office starting on November 12.  Would  you please help us keep these plastics out of landfills and oceans?  For more info and more products you can bring and drop of, check the Green Team website.  

FYI - our Food Services Department is running a friendly competition this Wednesday.  Students who purchase a school lunch will be able to submit a guess for how many steps it takes to burn off a hamburger?  A Fitbit Alta HR will be awarded to the student with the winning answer.  

Last week all families should have received an email with instructions on how to sign up for the annual parent-teacher conferences.  As I mentioned last week, one of the three conferences will be scheduled in the evening (January 9 from 5-8pm) and those slots will be filled on a first come-first served basis.  We know that this means that not all families who prefer the evening conference can be scheduled for those options, and we hope that you’ll still be able to identify times that are possible for you.  A friendly reminder that parents/guardians are not required to participate in these conferences, and many families who have attended team meetings elect not to sign up. We appreciate everyone’s patience as our Main Office staff begin processing the many requests that are being submitted over the next few weeks.  

The annual RJ Grey musical is just around the corner! The students are working hard on this year’s production of James and the Giant Peach and we’re looking forward to another performance that showcases our students’ talents.  Five performances are scheduled for the week of December 3rd, specifically on Thursday, December 5 (7pm), Friday, 

December 6 (7pm), Saturday, December 7 (2pm and 7pm), and Sunday, December 8 (2pm).  Tickets are $15 and will be available in the Junior High Main Office starting Monday, November 18.  ABSAF holders are entitled to two free tickets and must pick up their tickets from the Main Office.  This is always a great family-friendly event and we hope to see many A-B families there.  As we begin to prepare for our annual school musical, I want to again share a link to one of my favorite episodes of the radio show This American Life.  Entitled, “Fiasco!” this episode highlights a small-town production of Peter Pan that involved the use of flying apparatuses. Unlike our High School’s production of Mary Poppins a few years ago, their efforts involving the flying apparatus didn’t exactly go as planned, along with a few other mishaps that turned the show into a full-fledged fiasco.  If you’ve got twenty minutes to spare, I encourage you to listen to this piece that apparently required Ira Glass to turn off his microphone during recording because of how hard he was laughing.

Finally, I don’t want to finish this edition of Grey Matters without acknowledging Veteran’s Day which is this Monday.  So I end with a thank you and a note of gratitude to members of our community who have or are still serving in our military, as well as their families who support them.  

Have a great week, everyone. 

Cheers, 

Hi Everyone, 

By December of each year, my outfit for managing morning drop-offs in the lower parking lot typically includes heavy duty boots and snowpants to accompany the hat and gloves that have already made an appearance in November.  Last week’s blast of cold air probably warranted a clothing timeline adjustment on my part, but I felt like I should hold out purely on principle, and probably fell victim to choosing fashion over function. Those windy mornings last week were not that enjoyable. So I empathize, though still don’t necessarily agree, with our students who are still wanting to come to school in just shorts and/or a t-shirt!  Small correction - our students and all three of my own children who were, until a recent and unpopular Shen family summit, amongst the worst offenders. And yet, even with clarification of what constitutes appropriate winter attire fresh in their minds, I found myself having to explain to one of them last night why leaving the house in sandals and no socks was not an option.  While I have an inkling that children under 18 have access to a self-generating source of body heat that goes away with aging, I still have a hard time seeing kids enter the school in shorts and t-shirts. I know we all have to pick and choose what battles we fight, and with afternoon temps still a bit higher that might give each of us a psychological escape hatch to not fight about this issue with them quite yet.  However, as we inch closer to more consistent winter weather, and temperatures that go even lower, please consider exercising your parental veto powers in terms of what layers of clothing are worn to school each day.  Since I’ve recently tried to pay a bit more attention to clothing choices this past week, I’ve also noticed that ripped jeans seems to be making a return to wardrobes and serving as a reminder of how fashion trends often reappear 20-30 years later.  So don’t be shocked when I start coming to RJ Grey in all of the oversized flannel shirts that I bought in 1993.  

Here are some updates and reminder for this week: 

Another reminder that the Fall Trimester closes this Wednesday, November 20th.  Report cards will likely be sent to families around December 6 -more on that when we get closer to that date.  

Thanksgiving is November 28th this year.  We will have school on Wednesday the 27th with an early release at 11:10am.  

A note to 8th grade families that I will be sending them an email tomorrow (Monday) introducing an upcoming assembly with Minding Your Mind, a national organization that provides mental health education to adolescents, parents, and educators.  

7 Red’s annual Coat Drive continues, so if you have any coats (for adults or children), they can be dropped off in our Lobby.  

The tryout schedule for Winter Sports (basketball and cheerleading) has been finalized and is available for viewing by clicking here. Students who plan to try out for our winter sports need to make sure their and updated physical form has been submitted and reviewed by our school nurse.  

The annual RJ Grey musical is just around the corner! The students are working hard on this year’s production of James and the Giant Peach and we’re looking forward to another performance that showcases our students’ talents.  Five performances are scheduled for the week of December 3rd, specifically on Thursday, December 5 (7pm), Friday, December 6 (7pm), Saturday, December 7 (2pm and 7pm), and Sunday, December 8 (2pm).  Tickets are $15 and will be available in the Junior High Main Office starting Monday, November 18.  ABSAF holders are entitled to two free tickets and must pick up their tickets from the Main Office.  This is always a great family-friendly event and we hope to see many A-B families there. 

With the Thanksgiving Break starting later next week, I want to remind families that there will be no homework over the vacation period.  This has been a practice at the Junior High for the past four years, and is now a district wide expectation that is part of Acton-Boxborough’s Homework Policy.  At the heart of this policy is a belief that school vacations can and should provide students and families an opportunity to rest and focus on time with each other, free from any school-related obligations. The commitment we (parents and the school) have to academics will be ever-present, and yet I think we would be remiss if we ignored what psychologist and author Madeline Levine identified as the need for "honoring the importance of downtime, playtime, and family time." This is not to suggest that addressing those needs can only take place during vacations (that would be problematic as well).  Instead, we hope students and families will see these vacation periods as an additional opportunity to cultivate other parts of their family's life, be it in the form of leisure and social activities, or simply quality time with each other.  

Have a great week, everyone. 

Cheers,

Hi Everyone, 

With Thanksgiving on Thursday, we have a shortened week with an early release on Wednesday (dismissal is at 11:10 am).  On that day, we will have our annual Thanksgiving Assembly.  This assembly traditionally includes a few speeches by students, and performances by the school band, string ensemble and chorus.  When I prepared for this assembly in my first year as Principal (eight years ago), it brought back all sorts of memories of my own Thanksgiving experiences as a middle school-aged student and I shared some of those memories in that year’s pre-Thanksgiving edition of Grey Matters. I have since re-posted it every year because Thanksgiving is, after all, a time for creating and maintaining certain traditions.  Given the continuing and ever-growing diversity that has evolved in our two communities, I hope some of what I share resonates with many of you in one way or another.  

When I was younger, Thanksgiving had very little to do with extended family, as most of our relatives were a few thousand miles away.  For my sister and I, Thanksgiving dinner was an event celebrated with just our parents, so it often felt like a lot of work for just another Thursday night dinner.  Having grown up in Taiwan, my parents didn’t experience Thanksgiving until they moved here for graduate school, and along with preparing the “traditional” turkey and sides, my parents wanted to include items more familiar to them [side note: check out this 2018 article in the Washington Post that addresses five myths about preparing turkey on Thanksgiving, and this New York Times article from last week about the recent trend of Chinese barbecue-style turkeys that are keeping shops and restaurants in Chinatowns across the country busy in November].  As a result, we had many a Thanksgiving where, next to the mashed potatoes, sat a plate full of pork dumplings; and next to the canned cranberry sauce, there was a bowl filled with a rice dish prepared by my dad. When I was thirteen, having soy sauce and turkey gravy on the same table really bothered me, mostly because it was different from what I understood and assumed to be the proper and traditional way to celebrate this holiday.  For me, it meant we weren’t fitting in and continued to make us different at a time when I wanted to be anything but. This narrow obsession of mine also probably contributed to an inexplicable lifelong craving for Stouffer’s Stove Top stuffing and a preference for canned cranberry sauce.  Once that adolescent desire to fit in faded, I began to appreciate those dinners through a different lens - one that focused on the reality that the food my parents made was really good, that we had much for which to be thankful, and that every family has different twists on how celebrate Thanksgiving- and it’s those unique variations that are at the heart of any tradition. This lifelong obsession with stuffing and the idea that there isn’t a single way to properly celebrate Thanksgiving is why this 2017 article, “Thanksgiving Stuffing (or dressing) is the dish that best reflects America’s diversity”, caught my eye.  

As I got older, I also came to discover that our approach to Thanksgiving was definitely more manageable than some of the other family “traditions” I have now heard about from friends and colleagues, and have myself witnessed when spending time with my wife’s extended family (most of whom live near or around Rt. 128).  Little did I realize how fortunate the Shen family was to not have to wrestle with deciding which relative slept in what room during the holiday, who was in charge of making sure the loose cannon uncle didn’t upset guests with his boorish political commentary, and preparing for however much criticism advice one was to receive from his or her in-laws for the entire day.  Whatever twist you and your family have planned for your Thanksgiving Break, and whatever you plan to eat, I hope you all find some opportunity for a little rest and some good company.  

Here are some updates and reminder for this week, and to keep in mind when we return from the Thanksgiving Break: 

The Fall Trimester closed last Wednesday, November 20th.  Report cards will likely be sent to families around December 6 -more on that when we return from the Thanksgiving Break. 

7 Red’s annual Coat Drive continues, so if you have any coats (for adults or children), they can be dropped off in our Lobby.  

The tryout schedule for Winter Sports (basketball and cheerleading) has been finalized and is available for viewing by clicking here. Students who plan to try out for our winter sports need to make sure their and updated physical form has been submitted and reviewed by our school nurse.  

Five performances of James and the Giant Peach are scheduled for the week of December 3rd, specifically on Thursday, December 5 (7pm), Friday, December 6 (7pm), Saturday, December 7 (2pm and 7pm), and Sunday, December 8 (2pm).  Tickets are $15 and available in the Junior High Main Office.  ABSAF holders are entitled to two free tickets and must pick up their tickets from the Main Office.  This is always a great family-friendly event and we hope to see many A-B families there. 

We hope all of you are able to use this upcoming holiday period as an opportunity to enjoy time with family and friends, be it in the form of leisure and social activities, or simply quality time with each other.  We look forward to seeing everyone back next Monday.  

Have a great week and a great Thanksgiving, everyone. 

Cheers,

Hi Everyone, 

I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving Break. Our family’s plans were pretty low key with family who are close by so driving wasn’t too bad over the last few days.  In between a very filling meal and dessert on Thursday, a few of us played the updated version of the board game Life, where Melisa and I discovered that in the board game version of your life, you actually get rewarded with money when you have more children.  While we have always felt that having children has enriched our lives, our actual experiences with kids and the size of our bank account has been a bit different than what the board game has offered.  Whether it was in the form of a board game, or a different activity, or maybe just some rest and relaxation, I hope everyone is returning to work and school a bit more refreshed and ready for December.  Based on current weather reports, our return to school tomorrow (Monday) may be affected and/or delayed - and Tuesday’s up in the air too. An important and friendly reminder that any changes in the school schedule, such as a delayed start or a snow day, will be communicated via an automated phone call to home and/or cell phones (and also posted on news sites).  

Here’s a few updates for everyone as we prepare for the next few weeks of school before the Winter Break.  

A friendly reminder that our first round of Parent-Teacher conferences are scheduled for Thursday, December 12.  Families who requested conferences have received an email confirmation of their conference schedule.  Those who requested a January conference time may or may not have heard yet from our Office, thanks for your patience as we first finalize conference times for December 12 and December 17.  A reminder to all families that for the December 12 and December 17 conferences, all students will be dismissed early at 11:10am.  The normal bus routes will run at that time and available to students.  Please keep these dates in mind when considering after school plans for your student(s).  

Every year, the PTSO organizes a staff appreciation luncheon that is held during the second set of parent-teacher conferences (which is on December 17).  Many thanks to the PTSO organizers and the volunteers who contribute to this event with food, drink and supply donations, as well as volunteering to staff the event. Stay tuned for more details and messaging from the PTSO.  

Starting this week thru December 13, RJ Grey will be collecting toys this holiday season to donate to local families.  Our teachers and students have coordinated this Toy Drive as an annual holiday effort, and it’s always been a wonderful opportunity to offer some holiday cheer to children in and around our community.  Toys must be new, unused (and unopened) and may be dropped off in the collection box in the main lobby. All the toys will be donated to families in Acton, Boxborough, and other surrounding towns.  If you have any questions, you can email Gabrielle Berberian at [email protected].  

James and the Giant Peach is here! Five performances are scheduled for Thursday, December 5 (7pm), Friday, December 6 (7pm), Saturday, December 7 (2pm and 7pm), and Sunday, December 8 (2pm).  Tickets are $15 and are now available in the Junior High Main Office, and will also be sold at the door prior to each performance.  ABSAF holders are entitled to two free tickets and must pick up their tickets from the Main Office prior to the performance date.  This is always a great family-friendly event and we hope to see many A-B families there.  

Tryouts for our Winter Sports get under way this week.  Please review the Athletics Website for information and to review the tryout schedule for each program.  Please remember that the process for requesting a waiver for the athletics fee should be submitted to the Athletic Director’s office.  Please contact Assistant Principal David Lawrence ([email protected]) with any questions.  

Before everyone went their separate ways last week, we held our traditional Thanksgiving assembly, which is always the first all-school gathering of the year.  As usual, this assembly featured and was led by our students, starting with our Student Council officers (Ryan Leo, William Wu, Josie Hanlon, Advikar Ananthkumar, and Miller Lillie).  Along with great performances (as usual) by students in our Band, Chorus and Strings programs, our assembly also featured speeches by two students who submitted entries for this year’s speech competition.  Many thanks to Seth Rosenman and Vaishnavi Murthy for their heartfelt words and reflections.  

Fall Trimester report cards will be emailed to parents and guardians at the end of this week. Any email address that is listed in a student’s Emergency Card as belonging to a parent or guardian will receive a copy of the report card. Once you have time to view the report card, please use this as an opportunity to have a conversation with your child(ren).  For subjects where they experienced some success, what did they think was an important factor, and how can they build on that momentum?  For subjects where they might be hoping to improve, what goals or strategies might be worth trying over the next few months? Asking students to self-assess and giving them a supportive venue to be honest with themselves is a critical first step to any adjustments that they (or you) might hope they make moving forward.  

I would imagine that amongst our student population, there may be a few whose report cards show some signs of difficulty in a few subjects.  They aren’t the first (nor will they be the last) middle schoolers whose report cards may result in a bit of angst and distress for themselves and their parents. What has become to me an important tradition during my time as Principal is where I confess to RJ Grey families about my own sordid middle school academic career, specifically the minor disaster that was my 7th grade winter report card, issued in 1989 by the Andover Public Schools. Like other RJ Grey parents before you, you can view a photo of said report card by clicking here. Please note that teachers’ names, and my parents’ home address, have been blurred to protect the innocent.  If you are tempted but unsure of whether to show my report card to your child, shed yourself of any reluctance you might have and go right ahead.  I’ve enjoyed many of the stories that parents have sent to me about the conversations they had with their children about their Principal’s report card. One family has my report card on their refrigerator - hopefully not still 

On the day that my 7th grade report card was distributed, I spent a good hour devising an ingenious plan to save myself from what I expected to be a painful conversation with my parents.  My brilliant idea? I folded up my report card, placed it in my pants pocket, and then purposely ran those pants through the washing machine - twice. I convinced myself (truly) that a spin cycle or two would actually make the D+ I earned in Math fade a bit and that I could convince my mother that the unclear and fuzzy marking was a B+.  Shockingly, the plan didn’t work - I probably should have used hot water instead of cold. On behalf of your kids, and the thirteen-year old version of me, please keep in mind that if you find yourself having a bewildering conversation about their report cards, they are not purposely trying to make you miserable and turn prematurely gray/bald.  The prefrontal cortex of thirteen and fourteen-year old brains is still developing, and this will often result in utterly nonsensical explanations and excuses.  This too shall pass, eventually. 

For those whose kids may be coming home with “that other” report card that might look a bit like mine, when you have a conversation with your child about it, please remind yourself of what we all already know: that patience and encouragement (and some mercy) often go a long way in these situations. If you hope to have a productive conversation with them, they need to be convinced that your motivation for talking is not just rooted in judgment, but also driven by curiosity and a sincere interest in expressing empathy and support.  

Middle school is a time when a dozen things are happening and changing at the same time - to their brains, their bodies, how they relate to peers and adults, and they’re trying on different personalities to see what feels right.  With all this change, sometimes the academic part doesn’t go quite as planned and they may not be prepared to identify the reasons why. A less-than-stellar middle school report card is not usually a preview of what your son or daughter will be like when they are adults (or even as high school students), nor is it really structured to offer insight about their continued development as kind, thoughtful, and creative individuals.  We (parents and educators) should definitely continue to have healthy academic goals and aspirations for all of our kids, and let’s remind ourselves that getting there can sometimes be a function of time and might also include, and indeed benefit from, a few detours and potholes along the way.  

Three weeks until the Winter Break!

Have a great week, everyone. 

Cheers,

Hi Everyone, 

During the first set of parent/guardian-teacher conferences last week, more than a few teachers were asked for advice about how to ask their kids about school and to hear more about their day to day experiences.  Even though we are about to enter the Winter Break, I thought I’d pass along a series of questions that a colleague shared with me that others have found to be (occasionally) effective in eliciting more than an incoherent grunt.  I’ve also adapted a few of them to be phrased in ways where you might ask them over the Winter Break and more about how things went during the first few months of school. I also reiterate my suggestion that using car rides can increase the odds of experiencing a dialogue that includes some worthwhile substance.  The original document I received had more than 25 questions - I’ll list around eleven of them below. If you find a few of these questions a bit more successful than others (there are questions that may totally flop), please send them my way and I’ll re-share with everyone the ones that tended to generate some extended conversation.  And please also send your own questions that you’ve found helpful!

In order to foster empathy, curiosity, and imagination rather than achievement at school, try to get your child to talk about their experiences during the day rather than tasks completed or grades received.  Here are some suggestions for conversation starters.

What was the best thing that happened at school today (this year)? (What was the worst thing that happened at school today?)

Tell me something that made you laugh today.

Where is the coolest place at the school

How did you help somebody today (sometime this year)?

Tell me one thing that you learned today (recently/this year) that made you stop and wonder.

When were you the happiest today/this year?

Tell me something good that happened today/this year.

What word did your teacher say most today?

Who in your class do you think you could be nicer to (for the rest of the year)?

Where do you feel the most relaxed at school?

Who is the funniest person in your class? Why is that person so funny?

If you got to be the teacher tomorrow, what would you do?

We have this final week of school before the start of the Winter Break.  Here are several reminders and updates:  

The next set of parent-teacher conferences is this Tuesday, December 17.  That means that all students will again be dismissed at 11:10am.  Please be sure to confirm with your child plans and expectations for after school as they will not be able to remain in the school building. 

We have a full day of school on Friday, December 20, and then the Winter Break begins!  If you and your family are beginning your break a bit before that (or a lot before that), please be sure to let our front office know so we can take accurate attendance (email Katy Frey at [email protected]).  It would also be important to have your child speak to each of their respective teachers about missed work and assignments. 

School resumes after Winter Break on Thursday, January 2 (translation: don’t send your kids to school on Wednesday, January 1 - we won’t be there! We have our final set of parent-teacher conferences scheduled for the evening of Thursday, January 9.  There will be a full day of school on that Thursday of conferences, and then a half-day of school the following day (Friday) where students are dismissed at 11:10am.  

Save the Date: The Winter Band Concert is the evening of Wednesday, January 15, and the Winter Chorus and String Ensemble Concert is the evening of Wednesday, January 22.  

We have many students participating in the Ski and Board Club when we return from the Break.  Please remember that ski and board gear can not be brought on AB buses in the morning, and that means on Tuesdays Ski and Board Club members are dropped off in the morning with quite a bit of gear.  The first session of Ski and Board Club is Tuesday, January 7. For those of you planning to drop off kids and gear in the lower parking lot, it would be immensely helpful if the gear was organized in a way that supported a speedy drop-off.  The best case scenario is if you have those ski bags that package everything up all nice and are easy to carry. Believe it or not, some of our 13-year olds throw their equipment all over the trunk before leaving the house (I know, hard to imagine), and then everyone in the parking lot gets to watch them and me get tangled up in boots, poles, and helmets.  I’ll do my best to help kids with getting gear out of the trunk, and anything that you can do in advance would be much appreciated. There are also some families who choose to drop off their child’s ski/boarding gear later in the day and bring it to the auditorium where it is stored.  

Finally, I want to provide 7th grade families with a preview of the Signs of Suicide (SOS) lesson and mental health screening tool that we now conduct annually to students in 7th and 9th grade.  Because that program is scheduled to take place in mid-January, families of 7th grade families will receive notification about it when we return from the Winter Break, and so may be helpful to provide a brief preview for all of you at this time.  The Signs of Suicide Prevention Program is a universal program for middle and high school students that has proven effective in helping students who are concerned about themselves or a friend.  It is the only school-based suicide-prevention curriculum listed by the Substance Abuse and Medical Health Services Administration (SAMSHA) in its National Registry of Evidence-Based Programs and Practices that addresses suicide risk and depression.  At RJ Grey, the program is scheduled this year to take place in 7th grade team classes during the week of January 20 and January 27, with two teams scheduled per week.  For parents and guardians who would like to preview the Signs of Suicide lesson and the video used during the lesson, we are hosting an information session on Tuesday, January 7 at 6pm in the Junior High Library.  Joining us that evening will be a staff member from the Riverside Trauma Center.  At that session we will provide an overview of the program and answer questions that parents/guardians might have. Families of 7th grade students will be receiving a letter about the SOS lesson and mental health screening tool, along with a consent form that we will need parents and guardians to return by Friday, January 10th. The consent form allows you to select your child’s level of participation in the program.  Thank you in advance for your assistance with our continued implementation of this important program.  

Have a great week, everyone.  Happy holidays and a happy new year.  

Cheers,

Hi Everyone, 

Welcome back from Winter Break, and welcome to 2020 and another decade and perhaps one where, dare I suggest it, our kids will have to experience a sporting world where we can’t assume total domination by the local professional football franchise?  I’m not telling you what I think is going to happen, just making an innocent observation. Our family made a quick trip over the break to New York City where we saw the Broadway version of the Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief story, as well as having the good fortune of seeing Freestyle Love Supreme, which I’m not sure how best to accurately describe. It’s a show co-created by Lin Manuel Miranda of Hamilton fame that features audience participation and improvisation by the performers primarily in the form of hip hop and a whole mish-mosh of other musical and performance techniques. For a better explanation, you can read the New York Times’ story about it here.  Besides this quick trip to New York City, our family took advantage of this somewhat longer Winter Break and enjoyed a series of smaller moments and activities at home, where both Melisa and I found opportunities to connect and spend time with our kids (full disclosure: this was often in between, around, and at times in the perpetual presence of technology).  The photo to the right captures one brief moment where Addie and I bonded (I think I can use that word for this) by way of a brief boxing match that took place in our kitchen with some mock boxing gloves our kids received as a gift that I am pretty sure was a nod to their tendency to wrestle and tackle each other at various moments of the day. While I am not trying to suggest that choreographed moments of physical jousting with your child is the optimal strategy for connecting with your kids, it was one in a series of interactions that allowed Melisa and I to engage playfully with our kids this break.  If you’re leaning towards recommendations of a different kind for how to connect and communicate with your children more or differently this coming year, here is a recent article in the New York Times that offers a collection of pieces from this past year that provide a few different angles and approaches to this subject - and likely don’t involve any risk of an accidental black eyes (I think). 

An important note about next week’s two sets of parent/guardian-teacher conferences that is the result of an earlier snow day. Our set of conferences that were originally slated for December 17 is now scheduled for the afternoon of Thursday, January 9, with the same times that were originally planned for December 17. This may be a little confusing because we already had (and still have) a set of evening conferences scheduled for that same day, from 5pm to 8pm.  Those evening conferences are still on for that date and time. Because of this, I want to provide a reminder of what this means for our school schedule on Thursday and Friday.  

1. Thursday, January 9 is now an early release day for students, where they are dismissed at 11:10am.  Parent-teacher conferences re-scheduled from December 17 will then begin shortly thereafter.  

2. That evening of January 9, the originally-scheduled evening conferences will take place from 5pm to 8pm.  That means teachers will have a brief respite in between where we’ll be sure to feed them and give them a bit of a break!

3. The following day, Friday, January 10, is an early release day for all students and staff.  School will be from 8:00am to 11:10am, and buses will be available for their “regular routes.”  
   
   

Here’s additional updates and reminders for the first few weeks of January, and then a bit of important information about our annual Signs of Suicide (SOS) program for 7th grade students.  

There is no school for all Acton-Boxborough students on Monday, January 20 for the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday.  

The RJG Winter Band Concert is scheduled for the evening of Wednesday, January 15, and the Winter Chorus and String Ensemble Concert is scheduled for the evening of Wednesday, January 22.  Both events begin at 7pm and taking place in the RJ Grey auditorium.  

The very popular Ski and Board Club has its first session next Tuesday, January 7.  Please remember that ski and board gear can not be brought on AB buses in the morning, and that means on Tuesdays Ski and Board Club members are dropped off in the morning with quite a bit of gear.  For those of you planning to drop off kids and gear in the lower parking lot, it would be immensely helpful if the gear was organized in a way that supported a speedy drop-off.  The best case scenario is if you have those ski bags that package everything up all nice and are easy to carry. I’ll do my best to help kids with getting gear out of the trunk, and anything that you can do in advance would be much appreciated.  There are also some families who choose to drop off their child’s ski/boarding gear later in the day and bring it to the auditorium where it is stored.  

We had our latest round of Everyday Leaders take place right before Winter Break. It was great to spend some time with a number of our students and see how the year is going, and to also get some of their initial feedback on different parts of the RJ Grey experience.  Congratulations to this group of Everyday Leaders: Owen Wang - 7 Blue; Ella Nannene - 7 Gold; Jacob Tucker - 7 Green; Jonnie Lin - 7 Red; Sebastian Grad - 8 Blue; Oliver Aubain - 8 Gold; Sarah Fernandes - 8 Green; Sam Keller - 8 Red; Matthew Smarlarz - 7 Red; Greg Michaelidis - 8 Red; Sebastien Stouch - 8 Blue. 

I want to provide families with another preview of a letter that families of 7th grade students will be receiving this week by email as well as US Postal Mail, that discusses our school’s implementation of the Signs of Suicide (SOS) lesson and mental health screening tool.  Before the Winter Break, I provided an overview of our annual Signs of Suicide lesson and the Brief Screening for Adolescent Depression to students in 7th and 9th grade. The Signs of Suicide Prevention Program is a universal program for middle and high school students that has proven effective in helping students who are concerned about themselves or a friend.  It is the only school-based suicide-prevention curriculum listed by the Substance Abuse and Medical Health Services Administration (SAMSHA) in its National Registry of Evidence-Based Programs and Practices that addresses suicide risk and depression.  At RJ Grey, the program is scheduled this year to take place in 7th grade team classes during the week of January 20 and January 27, with two teams scheduled per week.  For parents and guardians who would like to preview the Signs of Suicide lesson and the video used during the lesson, we are hosting an information session on Tuesday, January 7 at 6pm in the Junior High Library.  Joining us that evening will be a program coordinator from the Riverside Trauma Center.  At that session we typically provide an overview of the program and answer questions that parents/guardians might have. Families of 7th grade students will be receiving an email letter tomorrow (Wednesday) about the SOS lesson and mental health screening tool, along with a consent form that we need parents and guardians to return by Friday, January 10th.  Families will also receive a copy of the letter via US Postal Mail on Thursday or Friday.  The consent form allows you to select your child’s level of participation in the program. 

Have a great week, everyone.  Welcome back.  

Cheers, 

Hi Everyone, 

Sometimes it feels like the universe has a keen sense of what’s on your mind, or a challenging or vexing situation coming up in one’s life that may require a bit of guidance and reflection, and then steers you to stories and articles that offer a bit of perspective on it.  For some, it may be a tough financial decision, a question about a career choice, a difficult family dilemma, or maybe how best to approach a hard conversation. For me, the articles that have recently been falling into my lap are all in service of a helping me brace and prepare for a complicated event that Melisa and I will be managing in about two weeks. Specifically, hosting a birthday party for our daughter that involves no fewer than a dozen 12 and 13-year old girls sleeping over our house, and where sugary items will be plentiful.  Along with ordering a Kevlar vest, aviation ground support-quality headphones, and another bottle of Tylenol, we have begun some preliminary discussions with Addie about our goasl for her and her friends to have a lot of fun and how there will be some established parameters and expectations to ensure our house doesn’t burn to the ground. As we were working through a few preparations and focusing not as much on the whole purpose of the sleepover, this piece in the New York Times appeared, a summary of finding by Lydia Denworth who wrote a book about friendships.  Entitled, How Monkeys Taught Me to Appreciate Teen Sleepovers, I was most struck by the following excerpt and the links she made to her shift in how she views requests for sleepovers: 

“after spending the last few years researching and writing a book about the science of friendship, I am looking with fresh eyes at sleepovers, video games and many of the other ways children and teenagers like to spend their time together. I’ve realized that the critical thing is exactly that: that they spend time together. One of our chief jobs as parents is to encourage them to make and maintain strong friendships. It is one of the skills they will need most in life…. What I’m really doing is giving more weight to the friendship factor in my parental decisions. Having and being a good friend counts for as much or more than the many other achievements we push our kids toward in the classroom, on the basketball court or in the orchestra. Friendship is where kids build social skills — companionship, trust, loyalty, reciprocity and reconciliation — that they can only learn from peer relationships. These are muscles they need to strengthen for adulthood.” 

If this idea of how childhood friendships serve as an important protective and developmental feature in an adolescent’s life (which, granted, may sound obvious), here’s another piece by Lydia Denworth that just appeared in The Atlantic, entitled, “The Outsize Influence of Your Middle School Friends” that examines the power and impact of friendships, or the lack thereof, at this stage of a person’s life.  So in a few weeks when the decibel level at the Shen home pushes the limits of the sound barrier, I’ll be re-centering myself with the help of what I read in these articles.  My efforts to view sleepovers with additional enthusiasm notwithstanding, I am also thinking carefully about this 2018 piece in the Washington Post, “Why Cellphones and Sleepovers are Such a Bad Mix” that offers an important caution about how cell phones at sleepovers can be an invitation to unwanted and unintended social messiness given that “sleep deprivation can lead to diminished inhibition” and letting families and kids know ahead of time that cell phones will be collected and stored together at a certain point in the evening -- specific time currently being negotiated between daughter and yours truly.  

Here are a few updates and reminders for the next few weeks: 

February Vacation begins after school this Friday, February 14. Friday is a full-day of school.  If you already know that your child will be absent on that day, please be sure to let our Main Office know so we can manage the attendance process successfully.  You can email Katy Frey at [email protected].  

The Winter Trimester closes on Friday, March 6 and report cards will be emailed to families about two weeks after that.  Additionally, 8th grade students and their families will begin to discuss course registration and recommendations with teachers in early/mid-March.  I’ll be sure to provide additional details about that entire process when we return from February Vacation.

Don’t forget that the R.J. Grey Junior High yearbook is offering you the chance to send your love, pride and congratulations to the graduating 8th grade R.J. Grey student in your life.  You can purchase one of two advertisement formats to relay a message that your 8th grade student will cherish forever. Ads must be submitted by Wednesday, March 11. Please click the link for submissions guidelines and instructions. Please contact Marc Lewis ([email protected]) with any questions.  

I am pleased to share that this month’s R.J. Grey Artist of the Month is Sarthak Chitari from 8 Blue.  When Sarthak was asked why he wanted to be RJ Grey Artist of the Month, he replied: I want to be Artist of the Month because I want people to see my artwork. I want to not only get their feedback on how I can improve but if possible would like to inspire some non-artists to do art. I believe that you don’t need to have the skill to make art. You just need the vision and motivation to be able to produce art. Congratulations to Sarthak  and you can click here to view her art work (also on display in our school lobby). 

On Friday, we will enter the break by having our annual Blue & Gold Day assembly, which has traditionally served as a celebration of school spirit, and where we gather as a whole school (which only really happens a few times a year).  As usual we’ll be sure to post the best photos of the event on our Twitter feed, and it will make for a great start to the February Break.  An important reminder that there will be no homework assigned for vacation period.  We hope that everyone uses this time as an opportunity to disconnect from school and devote time to other interests.  Safe travels to those who are using the break as a chance to get away.  

Have a great week, a great February Break, everyone. 

Cheers,