R.J. Grey Junior High School

Hi Everyone,

By now I hope you have received and had a chance to read the message that Superintendent Light sent to members of our community regarding the Boston Globe article that was published this morning, and that profiles the student suicides that have occurred in our community over the last several years.  It’s also likely that many of you have, by now, also read the article itself. I know I’m stating the obvious when I note the difficulty of reading that piece without experiencing a range of emotions.  Certain feelings and questions that we’ve felt before have probably resurfaced, along with new ones introducing themselves into the dialogue. As we continue to navigate this topic through the lens and perspective of adults and parents, I know we agree about the central importance of being attentive to our children and when and/or where they may find themselves entering conversations about it with peers, classmates, and friends.  For all families, I reiterate and echo Peter Light’s encouragement of parents and guardians to speak with their children as appropriate. If you’re hesitant because you feel you aren’t equipped with all the right answers for every question they may ask, I offer you this piece of learning that I’ve gained from my work with those who are very knowledgeable about this arena: for many adolescents a simple check-in may be all that is needed right now, where you acknowledge the piece and offer your child an open invitation to share their initial reactions or questions. They may or may not take you up on it at that very moment, but maybe it happens later on during a longer drive in the car to a practice or rehearsal. The offer to listen, as opposed to the providing of particular answers, is often what’s most needed and most helpful for the majority of our children.  Of course, if you have reasons for additional concerns or your child is one who has received mental health support previously, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us and we can work through next steps.

In both Peter’s letter and in the Globe article, there are references to additional training, partnerships, and interventions that our District has implemented over the past three years in an effort to address suicide and mental health in general.  One of those interventions is the Signs of Suicide (SOS) lesson and mental health screening tool that we now conduct annually to students in 7th and 9th grade.  Because that program is scheduled to take place in mid-January, families of 7th grade families will receive notification about it when we return from the Winter Break, and so may be helpful to provide a brief preview for all of you at this time.  The Signs of Suicide Prevention Program is a universal program for middle and high school students that has proven effective in helping students who are concerned about themselves or a friend.  It is the only school-based suicide-prevention curriculum listed by the Substance Abuse and Medical Health Services Administration (SAMSHA) in its National Registry of Evidence-Based Programs and Practices that addresses suicide risk and depression.  At RJ Grey, the program is scheduled this year to take place in 7th grade team classes during the week of January 21 and January 28, with two teams scheduled per week.  For parents and guardians who would like to preview the Signs of Suicide lesson and the video used during the lesson, we are hosting an information session on Tuesday, January 8 at 6pm in the Junior High Library.  Joining us that evening will be a staff member from the Riverside Trauma Center.  At that session we will provide an overview of the program and answer questions that parents/guardians might have. Families of 7th grade students will be receiving a letter about the SOS lesson and mental health screening tool, along with a consent form that we will need parents and guardians to return by Friday, January 11th. The consent form allows you to select your child’s level of participation in the program.  Thank you in advance for your assistance with our continued implementation of this important program.

We have this final week of school before the start of the Winter Break.  Here are several reminders and updates:

The next set of parent-teacher conferences is this Tuesday, December 18.  That means that all students will again be dismissed at 11:06am.  Please be sure to confirm with your child plans and expectations for after school as they will not be able to remain in the school building.

Every year, the PTSO organizes a staff appreciation luncheon that is held during the second set of parent-teacher conferences (which is this Tuesday).  Many thanks to the PTSO organizers and the volunteers who contribute to this event with food, drink and supply donations, as well as volunteering to staff the event.  For more details and to volunteer/donate, click here to sign up!  

We have a full day of school on Friday, December 21, and then the Winter Break begins!  If you and your family are beginning your break a bit before that (or a lot before that), please be sure to let our front office know so we can take accurate attendance (email Katy Frey at [email protected]).  It would also be important to have your child speak to each of his/her teachers about missed work and assignments.

School resumes after Winter Break on Wednesday, January 2 (translation: don’t send your kids to school on Tuesday, January 1 - we won’t be there! We have our final set of parent-teacher conferences scheduled for the evening of Thursday, January 3.  There will be a full day of school on that Thursday of conferences, and then a half-day of school the following day (Friday) where students are dismissed at 11:06am.  

Save the Date: The Winter Band Concert is the evening of Wednesday, January 16, and the Winter Chorus and String Ensemble Concert is the evening of Wednesday, January 23.  

At the most recent School Committee meeting that was held last Thursday, the Committee approved the school calendar for the 2019-2020 school year (next year).  You can view and download the calendar by clicking here.  

One of our newest student clubs this year, Creating Change, have been working very hard to prepare for their first event - a Winter Pop Up Shop!  Creating Change is a club that focuses on community service through art making and is open to students of all art ability levels. Their hope is to use and develop art-making skills while we make a difference in the R.J. Grey community and beyond.The students in the group (over 25 strong), have created a number of small gifts and crafts that they will be selling at this Pop Up Shop, with proceeds being donated to charitable organizations. The Pop Up Shop will take place this Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday immediately after school, and all items for sale are $5 or less.  

We have many students participating in the Ski and Board Club when we return from the Break.  Please remember that ski and board gear can not be brought on AB buses in the morning, and that means on Tuesdays Ski and Board Club members are dropped off in the morning with quite a bit of gear.  The first session of Ski and Board Club is Tuesday, January 8. For those of you planning to drop off kids and gear in the lower parking lot, it would be immensely helpful if the gear was organized in a way that supported a speedy drop-off.  The best case scenario is if you have those ski bags that package everything up all nice and are easy to carry. Believe it or not, some of our 13-year olds throw their equipment all over the trunk before leaving the house (I know, hard to imagine), and then everyone in the parking lot gets to watch them and me get tangled up in boots, poles, and helmets.  I’ll do my best to help kids with getting gear out of the trunk, and anything that you can do in advance would be much appreciated. There are also some families who choose to drop off their child’s ski/boarding gear later in the day and bring it to the auditorium where it is stored.

Finally, I want to wish everyone a wonderful Winter Break.  As we enter the break, I wanted to offer everyone a link to a story that has quickly risen to one of my favorite pieces this year.  It’s a piece by Shirley Wang about the unlikely but very real friendship that developed between former NBA star Charles Barkley and her father Lin, who died this past June.  It made my day, and so I wanted to pass it along to all of you with the hopes it adds a bit of joy to your break.  Remember that as part of our homework practice there will be no homework or studying assigned to students for this period of time.  Please encourage your child to disconnect from school for the duration of the vacation, and focus his/her energies and time on other interests, friends, and family.  Safe travels to those of you who might be making a trip out of state.

Have a great week, everyone.  Happy holidays and a happy new year.  

Cheers,

Hi Everyone,

A few years ago I introduced to Grey Matters readers my youngest son’s love of bacon, his request for a “box of bacon” for Christmas, and all the bacon-inspired presents he did receive from relatives, including the infamous Bacon Bowl.  What I thought at the time was going to be a one-time reference to Parker’s love of the greasy breakfast meat evolved into a 6-month dialogue with families about all things bacon.  Apparently, there was and is a large contingent of families in the Acton and Boxborough communities who share my son’s fixation with bacon. Assuming that’s still the case, I wanted to pass along the news that Ohio State University has installed its first bacon vending machine, and has gained such popularity that it has to be restocked four or five times a day. Along with that quirky piece, I also came across a few other articles that I thought would be useful to pass along to families and perhaps a bit more relevant to school, learning, and parenting.  First, here is an opinion piece in the New York Times by psychologist Adam Grant called “What Straight-A Students Get Wrong” and offers a particular perspective about learning in school (primarily college), and what he sees as the gains and losses of a culture and system that is built around measuring achievement primarily through traditional grades.  Those of you who choose to read the article may or may not see application of those ideas in a middle school/high school setting, but at least perhaps offers some food for thought the day before Fall Trimester report cards are emailed home (more on that below).  Second, the Boston Globe just posted another article regarding the issue of vaping in schools.  While this article focused heavily on how a number of schools are installing sensors that are supposed to be able to detect vaping activity, it also offers additional data and stories about this issue in general.  Since the time a few weeks ago when I wrote a more elaborate message about this in Grey Matters, vaping activity at RJ Grey this year has still not (fortunately) emerged as a significant concern, though we are being cautious and avoiding being lulled into a false sense of quiet in this arena. Similarly, I would encourage parents and guardians to continue being somewhat vigilant about your child’s exposure to vaping. 

Finally, an article that I share more for fun and camaraderie than anything else, though I actually can see appropriate links to the first article I shared about measuring achievement primarily through grades and some of the unintended outcomes of that approach.  The Washington Post just published a piece about how common it is for adults to have dreams where they are back in college and realizing they have a final exam for a class that they never attended the whole semester - and the panic that it generates.  Until I came across this article, I believed that this exact dream that I have about two to three times a year was a creation unique to my overly neurotic brain.  Apparently it’s a much more common dream narrative, and so I wanted to pass this information along to all of you should you also connect to this particular brand of dreaming.  

Besides reading the articles that I shared above, I also attended Saturday evening’s performance of Annie and as always it’s immensely enjoyable to watch a performance featuring our students as they showcase a whole different dimension of who they are, and the many talents they possess. The moment shortly before the curtains rose when a parent told me about how great an experience the musical has been for his child was an added bonus for me.  Along with the many parents and guardians, families and staff who attended the musical, I was again heartened to see a large contingent of current and former RJ Grey students in attendance and cheering loudly for their classmates and friends.  Planning and preparation for a production of this magnitude starts in the summer, and involves a high level of commitment and focus for the first three months of the school year - auditions, rehearsals, costume making, set building, and more rehearsals.  Congratulations and many thanks to the student cast and crew, RJ Grey staff and parent volunteers who were part of this year’s musical production.

Some reminders for this week and next, as we head towards Winter Break:

Fall Trimester report cards are being sent to families Monday afternoon. Please remember that report cards are now emailed to directly to parents and guardians.  Any email address that is listed in a student’s Emergency Card as belonging to a parent or guardian will receive a copy of the report card.  If you experience any issues with receiving the report card let me know and we can generate another copy to email you.

The first of three parent-teacher conference days is scheduled for this Thursday, December 13.  All (Junior High) students will have an early release day, and dismissed at 11:06am.  All bus routes will be available after school, and a friendly reminder to families to have a quick conversation with your child about plans and expectations for where they should be going once school is dismissed.  For those parents and guardians who have meetings scheduled on Thursday, please double check your assigned times. You would have received that via an email message from either Katy Frey (7th grade) or Anne Spalding (8th grade).  

I want to provide a friendly reminder and plug for Rise to the Challenge, which is our way way of recognizing student involvement in community service.  We know that many students are already participating in service activities outside of school, and we hope to celebrate those efforts along with encouraging more students to become active in service opportunities.  Students who complete 10 hours of service within the school year will be recognized for their efforts. Please visit the community service page on our website that provides all the details for this program.  If you have any questions, please email Debbie Brookes at [email protected].  

We are nearing the launch of our annual, and quite popular, Cooking Club at RJ Grey.  The tough part about Cooking Club is that it’s limited to 12 students to ensure an appropriate setting that prioritizes safety and supervision.  The good news is that this popular club will be offering two rounds/offerings of the Cooking Club which will allow 24 students to participate. This club is for students with all levels of cooking experience and will meet from 2:50-5:00 PM after school on the scheduled meeting dates in the Cafeteria Kitchen. Registration will be based on the order in which registration forms are turned in. Click here for the Cooking Club registration form (which also includes meeting dates and times).  Questions and forms can be directed to Deb Rimpas (Health Teacher) at [email protected].  

Finally, as we near the Winter Break, I also want to take a moment to include this annual reminder about guidelines for giving gifts to school staff members.  First and foremost, please know that no family should ever feel that gift giving is expected. My experience has been that simple expressions of thanks that are sent along to teachers by students and families are “gifts” that are greatly appreciated by our staff.  For families who choose to provide a gift to a member of the RJ Grey staff, I do need to direct your attention to state ethics laws that limit the gifts that teachers, coaches, and staff are permitted to receive. There’s actually a whole series of details about this (because it tends to get a little complicated at the elementary levels with class gifts, etc.), but to keep things simple for us: staff can not accept gifts from a single family that exceeds $50 in value for the entire school year. For those who send in homemade desserts and treats and want to know what monetary value is placed on those, the answer is of course priceless.  I share the above info about gift giving as a friendly reminder about important guidelines that we’re obligated to follow and to take this opportunity to thank all RJ Grey families for the many ways that each of you supports the school and our teachers throughout the year.  

Have a great week, everyone.

Cheers,

Hi Everyone,

This week we’re looking at unique family traditions that you may not have had a role in creating, and instead have inherited and perhaps not in a position to end, alter, or adjust.  Like many others, our family typically shifts into “winter holiday” gear the weekend after Thanksgiving - so these past two days have been quite busy. A few years ago, Melisa’s side of the family added a few features and upgrades to our winter holiday traditions - some a bit easier than others to digest.  Now that my in-laws have six grandchildren by way of Melisa and her siblings who are all of a certain age, the first weekend in December has become an official postscript to the Thanksgiving festivities where we get together again - this time at a pizza place up in the North Shore that Melisa’s entire extended family used to frequent when she was growing up.  And once we finish stuffing ourselves with pizza, we all drive a few minutes to a place that sells Christmas trees and we all pick out trees for our respective homes. Everything I just described are things that I consider welcome additions to our family’s list of annual traditions and plans. As someone who didn’t have extended family who lived close to us and who we’d actually see more than once every few years, this has been a nice change of pace for me.  What I am having a slightly harder time with is the part where all three of my kids now expect to have, along with our family Christmas tree, their own individual mini-Christmas trees for their respective rooms. A few years ago, one of my kids excitedly commented to a certain grandfather who will remain nameless that it would be so amazing if he also had his own little tree to decorate in his room. Given the tendency for all of our kids’ grandparents to spoil them rotten and say “yes” a bit too quickly and consistently, I suppose I should be thankful that it was a mini-tree, and not a live reindeer, that our child was eyeing.  He and his siblings all got a mini-tree that year and each year since then, and it’s now heresy to suggest that this practice may be a bit overindulgent and unnecessary. I’ve always had trouble getting our shared family tree to stay upright (see: Ornament Massacre of 2014), now we have to set up four of them?

In terms of RJ Grey traditions that occur around this time of year, our annual school musical production always adds to the excitement between the Thanksgiving holiday and the Winter Break.  This year’s performances of Annie are at the end of this week and I know that the students and staff involved in the musical are excited and putting a bit of that nervous energy into final preparations. The five performances are scheduled for Thursday, December 6 (7pm), Friday, December 7 (7pm), Saturday, December 8 (2pm and 7pm), and Sunday, December 9 (2pm).  Tickets are $15 and are now available in the Junior High Main Office, and will also be sold at the door prior to each performance.  ABSAF holders are entitled to two free tickets and must pick up their tickets from the Main Office prior to the performance date.  If you and your family are eager to attend but the cost of the tickets proves to be a hardship, please don’t hesitate to contact Anne Spalding ([email protected]) in the Main Office and we can make arrangements to provide tickets to one of the shows.  We want to make sure that any of our students and their families who wants to attend can do so without additional burden.   

Here are some reminders for this week, and then a note about Fall Trimester report cards coming home either Friday or next Monday.   

Similar to previous years, 7th grade students will again participate in an annual presentation by Meghan McCoy, from the Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Center (MARC) about cyberbullying and engaging in discussion about the benefits and risks of maintaining a social media presence.  This presentation is scheduled for Friday, and we’re looking forward to welcoming Meghan back to RJ Grey, who has worked with our school for several years, and is very familiar with our student audience.  

The first of three parent-teacher conference days is scheduled for Thursday, December 13.  All (Junior High) students will have an early release day, and dismissed at 11:06am.  All bus routes will be available after school, and a friendly reminder to families to have a quick conversation with your child about plans and expectations for where they should be going once school is dismissed.  For those parents and guardians who have meetings scheduled on Thursday, please double check your assigned times. You would have received that via an email message from either Katy Frey (7th grade) or Anne Spalding (8th grade). 

Our last day of school before the Winter Break is Friday, December 21.  Please note that this final day is a full day of school.  We often get inquiries about whether it’s a half-day or not (it’s not).  

As we enter December we have another R.J. Grey Artist of the Month.  Congratulations to Eli Jarsky (8 Red) who has been selected as this month’s Artist of the Month. When Eli was asked about some things that influence/inspire/inform the artwork he likes to make, he shared, “I like to draw things around me, and ordinary things you’d use every day. My style has changed drastically over the years, but I’ve recently been drawing drapery and things that I used to find really challenging.” Congratulations to Eli and you can click here to view his artwork (also on display in our school lobby).  

Fall Trimester report cards are going home with students either at the end of this week, or next Monday at the latest. Please remember that report cards are now emailed to directly to parents and guardians.  Any email address that is listed in a student’s Emergency Card as belonging to a parent or guardian will receive a copy of the report card. Once you have time to view the report cards, please use this as an opportunity to have a conversation with your child(ren).  For subjects where they experienced some success, what did they think was an important factor, and how can they build on that momentum?  For subjects where they might be hoping to improve, what goals or strategies might be worth trying over the next few months? Asking students to self-assess and giving them a supportive venue to be honest with themselves is a critical first step to any adjustments that they (or you) might hope they make moving forward.  

I would imagine that amongst our student population, there may be a few whose report cards show some signs of difficulty in a few subjects.  They aren’t the first (nor will they be the last) middle schoolers whose report cards may result in a bit of angst and distress for themselves and their parents. What has become to me an important tradition during my time as Principal is where I confess to RJ Grey families about my own sordid middle school academic career, specifically the minor disaster that was my 7th grade winter report card, issued in 1989 by the Andover Public Schools. Like other RJ Grey parents before you, you can view a photo of said report card by clicking here. Please note that teachers’ names, and my parents’ home address, have been blurred to protect the innocent.  If you are tempted but unsure of whether to show my report card to your child, shed yourself of any reluctance you might have and go right ahead.  I’ve enjoyed many of the stories that parents have sent to me about the conversations they had with their children about their Principal’s report card. One family has my report card on their refrigerator - hopefully not still

On the day that my 7th grade report card was distributed, I spent a good hour devising an ingenious plan to save myself from what I expected to be a painful conversation with my parents.  My brilliant idea? I folded up my report card, placed it in my pants pocket, and then purposely ran those pants through the washing machine - twice. I convinced myself (truly) that a spin cycle or two would actually make the D+ I earned in Math fade a bit and that I could convince my mother that the unclear and fuzzy marking was a B+.  Shockingly, the plan didn’t work - I probably should have used hot water instead of cold. On behalf of your kids, and the thirteen-year old version of me, please keep in mind that if you find yourself having a bewildering conversation about their report cards, they are not purposely trying to make you miserable and turn prematurely gray/bald.  The prefrontal cortex of thirteen and fourteen-year old brains is still developing, and this will often result in utterly nonsensical explanations and excuses.  This too shall pass, eventually.

For those whose kids may be coming home with “that other” report card that might look a bit like mine, when you have a conversation with your child about it, please remind yourself of what we all already know: that patience and encouragement (and some mercy) often go a long way in these situations. If you hope to have a productive conversation with them, they need to be convinced that your motivation for talking is not just rooted in judgment, but also driven by curiosity and a sincere interest in expressing empathy and support.  

Middle school is a time when a dozen things are happening and changing at the same time - to their brains, their bodies, how they relate to peers and adults, and they’re trying on different personalities to see what feels right.  With all this change, sometimes the academic part doesn’t go quite as planned and they may not be prepared to identify the reasons why. A less-than-stellar middle school report card is not usually a preview of what your son or daughter will be like when they are adults (or even as high school students), nor is it really structured to offer insight about their continued development as kind, thoughtful, and creative individuals.  We (parents and educators) should definitely continue to have healthy academic goals and aspirations for all of our kids, and let’s remind ourselves that getting there can sometimes be a function of time and might also include, and indeed benefit from, a few detours and potholes along the way.  

Three weeks until the Winter Break!

Have a great week, everyone.

Cheers,