Grey Matters, December 3, 2018; Volume 7, Number 14 

Hi Everyone,


This week we’re looking at unique family traditions that you may not have had a role in creating, and instead have inherited and perhaps not in a position to end, alter, or adjust.  Like many others, our family typically shifts into “winter holiday” gear the weekend after Thanksgiving - so these past two days have been quite busy. A few years ago, Melisa’s side of the family added a few features and upgrades to our winter holiday traditions - some a bit easier than others to digest.  Now that my in-laws have six grandchildren by way of Melisa and her siblings who are all of a certain age, the first weekend in December has become an official postscript to the Thanksgiving festivities where we get together again - this time at a pizza place up in the North Shore that Melisa’s entire extended family used to frequent when she was growing up.  And once we finish stuffing ourselves with pizza, we all drive a few minutes to a place that sells Christmas trees and we all pick out trees for our respective homes. Everything I just described are things that I consider welcome additions to our family’s list of annual traditions and plans. As someone who didn’t have extended family who lived close to us and who we’d actually see more than once every few years, this has been a nice change of pace for me.  What I am having a slightly harder time with is the part where all three of my kids now expect to have, along with our family Christmas tree, their own individual mini-Christmas trees for their respective rooms. A few years ago, one of my kids excitedly commented to a certain grandfather who will remain nameless that it would be so amazing if he also had his own little tree to decorate in his room. Given the tendency for all of our kids’ grandparents to spoil them rotten and say “yes” a bit too quickly and consistently, I suppose I should be thankful that it was a mini-tree, and not a live reindeer, that our child was eyeing.  He and his siblings all got a mini-tree that year and each year since then, and it’s now heresy to suggest that this practice may be a bit overindulgent and unnecessary. I’ve always had trouble getting our shared family tree to stay upright (see: Ornament Massacre of 2014), now we have to set up four of them?


In terms of RJ Grey traditions that occur around this time of year, our annual school musical production always adds to the excitement between the Thanksgiving holiday and the Winter Break.  This year’s performances of Annie are at the end of this week and I know that the students and staff involved in the musical are excited and putting a bit of that nervous energy into final preparations. The five performances are scheduled for Thursday, December 6 (7pm), Friday, December 7 (7pm), Saturday, December 8 (2pm and 7pm), and Sunday, December 9 (2pm).  Tickets are $15 and are now available in the Junior High Main Office, and will also be sold at the door prior to each performance.  ABSAF holders are entitled to two free tickets and must pick up their tickets from the Main Office prior to the performance date.  If you and your family are eager to attend but the cost of the tickets proves to be a hardship, please don’t hesitate to contact Anne Spalding ([email protected]) in the Main Office and we can make arrangements to provide tickets to one of the shows.  We want to make sure that any of our students and their families who wants to attend can do so without additional burden.   


Here are some reminders for this week, and then a note about Fall Trimester report cards coming home either Friday or next Monday.   

Similar to previous years, 7th grade students will again participate in an annual 
presentation by Meghan McCoy, from the Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Center (MARC) about cyberbullying and engaging in discussion about the benefits and risks of maintaining a social media presence.  This presentation is scheduled for Friday, and we’re looking forward to welcoming Meghan back to RJ Grey, who has worked with our school for several years, and is very familiar with our student audience.  

The
first of three parent-teacher conference days is scheduled for Thursday, December 13.  All (Junior High) students will have an early release day, and dismissed at 11:06am.  All bus routes will be available after school, and a friendly reminder to families to have a quick conversation with your child about plans and expectations for where they should be going once school is dismissed.  For those parents and guardians who have meetings scheduled on Thursday, please double check your assigned times. You would have received that via an email message from either Katy Frey (7th grade) or Anne Spalding (8th grade). 

Our last day of school before the Winter Break is Friday, December 21
.  Please note that this final day is a full day of school.  We often get inquiries about whether it’s a half-day or not (it’s not).  


As we enter December we have another R.J. Grey Artist of the Month.  Congratulations to Eli Jarsky (8 Red) who has been selected as this month’s Artist of the Month. When Eli was asked about some things that influence/inspire/inform the artwork he likes to make, he shared, “I like to draw things around me, and ordinary things you’d use every day. My style has changed drastically over the years, but I’ve recently been drawing drapery and things that I used to find really challenging.” Congratulations to Eli and you can click here to view his artwork (also on display in our school lobby).  


Fall Trimester report cards are going home with students either at the end of this week, or next Monday at the latest. Please remember that report cards are now emailed to directly to parents and guardians.  Any email address that is listed in a student’s Emergency Card as belonging to a parent or guardian will receive a copy of the report card. Once you have time to view the report cards, please use this as an opportunity to have a conversation with your child(ren).  For subjects where they experienced some success, what did they think was an important factor, and how can they build on that momentum?  For subjects where they might be hoping to improve, what goals or strategies might be worth trying over the next few months? Asking students to self-assess and giving them a supportive venue to be honest with themselves is a critical first step to any adjustments that they (or you) might hope they make moving forward.  


I would imagine that amongst our student population, there may be a few whose report cards show some signs of difficulty in a few subjects.  They aren’t the first (nor will they be the last) middle schoolers whose report cards may result in a bit of angst and distress for themselves and their parents. What has become to me an important tradition during my time as Principal is where I confess to RJ Grey families about my own sordid middle school academic career, specifically the minor disaster that was my 7th grade winter report card, issued in 1989 by the Andover Public Schools. Like other RJ Grey parents before you, you can view a photo of said report card by clicking here. Please note that teachers’ names, and my parents’ home address, have been blurred to protect the innocent.  If you are tempted but unsure of whether to show my report card to your child, shed yourself of any reluctance you might have and go right ahead.  I’ve enjoyed many of the stories that parents have sent to me about the conversations they had with their children about their Principal’s report card. One family has my report card on their refrigerator - hopefully not still


On the day that my 7th grade report card was distributed, I spent a good hour devising an ingenious plan to save myself from what I expected to be a painful conversation with my parents.  My brilliant idea? I folded up my report card, placed it in my pants pocket, and then purposely ran those pants through the washing machine - twice. I convinced myself (truly) that a spin cycle or two would actually make the D+ I earned in Math fade a bit and that I could convince my mother that the unclear and fuzzy marking was a B+.  Shockingly, the plan didn’t work - I probably should have used hot water instead of cold. On behalf of your kids, and the thirteen-year old version of me, please keep in mind that if you find yourself having a bewildering conversation about their report cards, they are not purposely trying to make you miserable and turn prematurely gray/bald.  The prefrontal cortex of thirteen and fourteen-year old brains is still developing, and this will often result in utterly nonsensical explanations and excuses.  This too shall pass, eventually.


For those whose kids may be coming home with “that other” report card that might look a bit like mine, when you have a conversation with your child about it, please remind yourself of what we all already know: that patience and encouragement (and some mercy) often go a long way in these situations. If you hope to have a productive conversation with them, they need to be convinced that your motivation for talking is not just rooted in judgment, but also driven by curiosity and a sincere interest in expressing empathy and support.  


Middle school is a time when a dozen things are happening and changing at the same time - to their brains, their bodies, how they relate to peers and adults, and they’re trying on different personalities to see what feels right.  With all this change, sometimes the academic part doesn’t go quite as planned and they may not be prepared to identify the reasons why. A less-than-stellar middle school report card is not usually a preview of what your son or daughter will be like when they are adults (or even as high school students), nor is it really structured to offer insight about their continued development as kind, thoughtful, and creative individuals.  We (parents and educators) should definitely continue to have healthy academic goals and aspirations for all of our kids, and let’s remind ourselves that getting there can sometimes be a function of time and might also include, and indeed benefit from, a few detours and potholes along the way.  


Three weeks until the Winter Break!


Have a great week, everyone.


Cheers,

201408111403_0001.tif


Posted by ashen On 02 December, 2018 at 1:48 PM  

 
Website by SchoolMessenger Presence. © 2024 SchoolMessenger Corporation. All rights reserved.